[x]

Misanthropy Inc.My body hasn't slept in weeks
My head is like a coconut
And my antivirus is on the blink.
As usual I have a rumbling in my gut,
Too much coffee will do that you know.

Besides that, I have to see my shrink
And explain again I'm in this rut
That only an affair or cocaine can fix.
I asked a friend of mine how's tricks
And she gave me all her problems,
There to hand out support and tissues.
Like a good sponge I absorbed her issues
So she could be free to blow some guy.

Or girl. Can't keep up with people these days.
Some are straight and some are gays
And others haven't a fucking clue.
The ceiling fan has some interesting views
On racial minorit

Ts and CsDon't ask me what my sign is.
The stars don't play my game.
Don't ask me for my birthstone.
Those rocks are all the same.
Don't ask me for my Chinese year.
I'm not a Chinese girl.
Just tell me what your kink is.
And I'll give it a whirl.

Math Your numbers and symbols are like
Little pieces of death sprinkled with confusion
Like a class on psych.

Your lines and curved parenthesis are
Unlike a lovely woman because
I'd rather be hit by a car.

Your greater and less than are like labels.
Which like Grimm stories and fairytales,
You should have stayed fables.

The imaginary and rational numbers are a
Curse to kids, adolescents, and adults.
Which is why you should go to hell and stay.

Saying I'd rather be dead
Is an understatement for solving your problems
Gives me more and kills me in the head.

Math, I may need you at school to pass
But I greatly dislike you so,
Please calcula

DeleteOh delete button, how you taunt me so!
To think that with a click, my mistakes can be no more.
I'm scared that if I touch you, I won't get it back.
But if I don't risk it now, I'll be know to slack.

Oh delete button, must you be so close?
You set the keys on fire, and don't provide a hose.
The time is nigh; Must make a choice; What's a girl to do?
Oh how thoughtless; We're not friendless; We still have "undo".

I Fought the MandrillI Fought the Mandrill

It takes a lot of skill
to fight a mandrill
They're clever and vile
with hearts filled with bile
and ugly red asses
what a threat to the masses
In a magazine I'd seen
a photo of one rather keen
on being some big shot celebrity
I knew he was the foe for me
He went by the name of DJ
and he lived several states away
at the Denver Zoo of course
so I headed straight to the source
the bastard was so hard to find
but he was given away by his behind
scarlet, just like that stupid letter
he was sly, but I was better
face to face, nobody nearby
one of us just had to die
with an aura generating rage,
DJ sprung from out his cage
a

Pie As In Crime If I was 3.14Pie As In Crime

If I was 3.14 inches high
I would be rather sly
I could walk right passed
The highest security
They’d be unable to detect me
Going right to the treasury
How easy it would be
To get to the money
How hard it would be
To run with the money
With the money in hand
I'd be unable to stand
If I was 3.14 inches high
I'd be unable to drive
I'd have to be in shape
Just to get to the place
If I was 3.14 inches high
Life would not be as easy as pie
I would even fail at crime

The Hobo from TogoWhen I lived in Togo Togo Togo,

I met a hobo hobo hobo.

He said his name was Billy Billy Billy;

I said his name was silly silly silly.

Then he kicked me kicked me kicked me

In my knee knee knee,

Then he ran ran ran

Away from me me me,

That hobo hobo hobo

From Togo Togo Togo.

Ganj-zillaHere's a little story of a couple of guys
who tried to grow some pot but to their surprise
they did something wrong, I'm not sure what they did
but a monster was made because of it
It grew and it grew and it grew through the roof
it grew arms and legs and it was on the loose
As it walked down the street all the people ran
from this people-smoking, pot leaf monster man
He picked up the people one by one
between his green, leafy finger and thumb
He put them in a barrel of spikes
and twisted them around 'til they were busted up real nice
He gathered the flesh and picked out the bones
then he rolled it, licked it, smoked it, got stoned!
He got a

BandersnatchyBandersnatchy
the hour was skiwampis
when moon clovers were aglight
the king of the Wood Sloths
was toraining through the night

the futrid mormlaggs bargled
while the heliophils a-rest
and groshing out the torpal
came a rather werdish pest

It was the dreaded Bandersnatch
as frumious as a markled moke
the Sloth king saw him and
in fear gave out a little quoke

the Bandersnatch squialled
and began to charge the sloth
the sloth king swung his speord
which gave off a might qloth

the diamentical battle ended
with bith being ribiskewed
they shook eachother's talits
and made a samonic krewd

at brun'gle, Cabbage-Eaters
went about the irrane s

The Lament of the Headless HorsemanThe Lament of the Headless Horseman
Before I was a ghost
I was the baddest guy around
but my circumstance has changed
'cause my head is lost, not found

My mouth and tongue have gone
(although I really need a drink)
and because I've lost my brain
I'm not able to even think

I am feeling so dejected
and I think I need to cry
But I'm kind of in a rut
since my head still has my eyes

now I'm sitting with my steed
and am feeling pretty blue
Since without eyes, ears, or nose
There's not much I can do...

I've given up all hope
and become consigned to this fate
but if somehow my head were found
that would be absolutely great

Why are you nudging me

#ElephantMilk in Full FlowThe #Herd be stampeding #ElephantStyle
Picking up #MilkOrders with every mile,
With trunks a trumpeting,
Bustling an' a hustling.
Though, not I hope, rustling our mercantile.

FlirtFlirt
There once was a pretty young flirt
who suffered a massive growth spurt
she had no way to disguise
her gigantic size
so she got liposuction, which hurt

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no choice but midnightno choice but midnight left and this is hard
to take when day was joyous and so kind
that we were filled with blessings of good mind
but now few stars and every way is barred
vision is blurred and all the ground is charred
by wildest fire we have been left behind
by some harsh fate in this land of the blind
where all things good have been cut up and marred
there must be wisdom left for each to trace
the proper path to decent human sight
where everyone is worthy of their face
and every action leads each to the right
this is the hope to which we all must hold
that none can purchase though it lead to gold

an ancient wisdomno resolution ever fell so flat
as this decree though most sincerely meant
to bring all to their senses and repent
their every crime laid out upon the mat
as subjects proper for our daily chat
those matters upon which no true consent
has been achieved and on which we were lent
not enough time and oh well that's that
when we have signaled that the end is come
to all deception we receive no prize
but only grievances a mighty store
since at the last we find that no one's dumb
who comes beneath the censure of our eyes
but each believes they truly know the score

unconsciousnesswe sit here caught twixt history and text
interpreters of one more well-told tale
another weight that's added to the scale
of knowledge what wisdom comes unvexed
by normal suffering in the context
of work and study long before we ail
or fade into the dark with one last wail
that's the hard question leaving us perplexed
the act political we cannot doubt
must be for us the central urgent norm
for making easier the chance that curled
within the force that bids each one to shout
the truth and nature of the rising form
is the bright hope of an emergent world

villanelle for an adult birthdaynow say good riddance to the year gone by
at one more fading of the foolish light
with full rejoicing that you did not die

tomorrow sun will rise on the same sky
and yours will be the task to get things right
now say good riddance to the year gone by

do not dwell long on how it seemed to fly
right past your thought and your diminished might
with full rejoicing that you did not die

get on your feet and led the hard words lie
just keep in mind that things could be less bright
now say good riddance to the year gone by

and get on with the stuff you can't deny
the tasks the pile up and the work not slight
with full rejoicing that you

the doctor birdon knutsford boulevard the doctor bird
sips nectar from the blossoms in the noise
of passing traffic and the tall absurd
motions of people yet the creature's poise
is magical unaltered by the place
or human action honest of its kind
but still as brutal does not steal its grace
restoring beauty in a time that's blind
to this reality there's one more cast
that memory had woken an older tale
of pain and loss from a forgotten past
where all the goods must come at end to fail
yet truth will flutter on a humming wing
asking the heart in spite of all to sing

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tea is the drink

by *Fledgist, Jan 17, 2007, 7:41:14 PM
Literature / Poetry / Humor / Traditional Fixed Forms

Tea is the drink that more than merely cheers
but doesn't make you drunk or falsely proud,
it speaks in whispers but its voice is loud
yet unlike coffee does not end in tears.
To win approval of one's friends and peers
never requires the plaudits of the crowd
but a strong sense of what should be allowed,
and mugs of tea till it comes out your ears.
Coffee made strong will give men heart attacks,
its bitterness could rival that of gall
and heartburn is its truest consequence.
So give us tea, and be neither slow or lax,
for coffee's pleasures are so quick to pall;
tea is the drink for all folk of good sense.

tea is the drinkby *Fledgist

Literature / Poetry / Humor / Traditional Fixed Forms

More on tea, from an exchange on Making Light.

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*Garnet-43 Jan 19, 2007

*Garnet chants* "CofFEE, cofFEE, cofFEE...."

"Tea is for when you're SICK" she adds.

JUST KIDDING!

Nice poem.

*Fledgist Jan 19, 2007 Hobbyist Writer

Thanks!!!

~PuttaManJL Jan 17, 2007

Water's better.

*Fledgist Jan 17, 2007 Hobbyist Writer

I disagree.

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tea is the drink

tea is the drinkby *Fledgist

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